“Twilight Sparkle has invited one of her friends for a night of stargazing.
“Clearly, her friend has different plans for the night…”
Written in 1st pony perspective according to Twilight, with nice attention to detail and what strikes me as a rather cliché but sincere inner monologue.. The writing in this has some really beautiful parts and some awkward parts (the latter mostly due to lack of/poor editing as usual I guess).
Twilight’s character seems very true to what I imagine, though deviates harmlessly the tiniest bit with some of her back story. Fluttershy’s demeanor is true to her character and not overdone thankfully, but her behavior may not be quite as true to what we know of her in canon at some points in this fic. I see this being a consistently difficult task for writers, especially in one-shots like this. Either one or both fillies break character (even if momentarily) in order to get past that barrier of social awkwardness. Sometimes this break is justified, and sometimes the author could do a better job of setting it up, etc. Fluttershy’s break isn’t really justified in this story, but the author kind of makes up for it with nice writing and by treating it as only a momentary lapse.